爱吃辣的加拿大大叔

雅思托福10多年一线教学

中文说得还不错，头像是他家猫

分享他原创的雅思写作干货

每篇范文都有配音，在同名公众号“英语考试cat”

你好呀，我是来自加拿大的雅思外教mac。今天，给大家带来一个ielts雅思大作文的原创范文。

老规矩，以下是正文目录：

1，题目

2，审题

3，高分范文

4，范文朗读

5，范文地道词汇中英对照，包括：

题目改述

讨论+观点类大作文高分句型

展示“词汇丰富度”的词汇&短语

展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇&句型

题目：

some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists. others believe it is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

审题：

type: discuss & opinion 讨论+观点 (我的观点：agree: making money is a good way, but not the only way)

body 1: profiting from culture cheapens it and will cause its disappearance

body 2: locals will preserve their culture because it makes money/education of young is better

key words: will be destroyed / only way

– model answer 高分范文 & 范文朗读 –

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范文音频戳这里

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it is believed by some that the commercialization of cultural elements geared towards tourism will cause their destruction, whereas others feel this is the sole method to help with their protection. this essay shall explore both views; however, in my opinion, i believe this type of profiteering will result in ensuring their survival rather than their ruin, though i also think that this method is not exclusive.

one of the main reasons why some feel the commercialization of cultural heritage may eventually lead to the vanishment of traditions is that locals will be seduced by the idea of making a profit, no matter how that money is made. as such, traditional elements, such as ethnic singing and dancing activities, will eventually become hollow and shallow, and as a consequence, tourism will gradually die off, with the final result of extinguishing these traditions. the same could be stated for physical buildings, whereby old buildings have been demolished simply to be replaced by replicas focused towards tourists. this use of cultural elements for commercial ends, consequently, runs the risk of ensuring their demise.

many regions, however, seek to make a living through showcasing their unique traditions to outsiders, causing local citizens of that area to have a vested interest in the continuation of their traditional culture, and in turn, helping to safeguard the survival not just of the traditions but also their livelihoods. ethnic minorities, for example, continue to survive with their traditions intact, as it is the commercial promotion of their unique cultural identity that attracts onlookers and tourists. nevertheless, the least intrusive method to preserve cultural traditions while simultaneously maintaining their integrity is by infusing the school curriculum with courses that promote cultural traditions, particularly as the modern world allows for all students to use the internet to easily engage with culture.

in conclusion, though both arguments are indeed valid, i think that through the promotion of culture in school courses, the customs and traditions of a region will be maintained with greater purity than simply through selling cultural artifacts to tourists.

– essay analysis 范文解析 –

– (1) introduction

paraphrasing from the statement/question 题目改述:

some people think that = it is believed by some that

cultural traditions = cultural elements

will be destroyed = cause their destruction

used as money-making machines = the commercialization of

aimed at = geared towards

tourists = tourism

standard phrase for the “discuss + opinion” type essay 讨论+观点类大作文高分句型：

it is believed by some that

, whereas others feel

this essay shall explore both views; however, in my opinion, i believe

, though i also think that

words showing cohesion (c&c) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语:

their

, whereas

this

will result in

rather than

, though

also

vocabulary 高分地道词汇和短语：

commercialization 商业化

cultural elements 文化元素

geared towards 面向；着眼于

profiteering 谋取利益

ensuring 确保

survival 生存

ruin 毁灭

exclusive 独有的；排他的

– (2) body 1 –

aspects that must be referred to 这段需要提到：

profiting from culture cheapens it and will cause its disappearance

standard ielts essay phrase 雅思高频句型：

one of the main reasons why some feel…is that

vocabulary and collocations 高分地道词汇和短语：

cultural heritage 文化遗产；文化传承

vanishment 消失

seduced 引诱

traditional elements 传统元素

ethnic 具有民族特色的

hollow 空心的

shallow 肤浅的

die off 绝迹

extinguishing 消灭

demolished 破坏；毁坏

replicas 复制品

commercial ends 商业目的

runs the risk of 面临……的风险

demise 伤亡

words showing cohesion [signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (c&c) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：

lead to

is that

by the idea of

, no matter how that

as such,

, such as

will eventually become

, and as a consequence

, with the final result of

these

the same could be stated for

, whereby

simply

this

, consequently,

– (3) body 2 –

aspects that must be referred to 这段需要提到：

locals will preserve their culture because it makes money/education of young is better

standard ielts essay phrase 雅思高频句型：

…, however, …

vocabulary and collocations 高分地道词汇和短语：

make a living 谋生

showcasing 展示

unique 独特的

outsiders 外来者

vested interest in 既得利益

the continuation of 继续

safeguard 保护

livelihoods 生计

ethnic minorities 少数民族

intact 完好无损的

the commercial promotion of 商业推广

cultural identity 文化身份

onlookers 观众

intrusive 侵扰的

integrity 完整

infusing 注入

school curriculum 学校课程表

engage with 与……交流

words showing cohesion [signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (c&c) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：

, however,

their

, causing

, and in turn,

, helping to

not just of…but also their

, for example,

, as

nevertheless,

the least

while simultaneously

, particularly as

allows for

– (4) conclusion –

standard ielts essay phrase 雅思高频句型：

in conclusion,

, i think that

vocabulary and collocations 高分地道词汇和短语：

valid 合理的；复合逻辑的

purity 纯洁

artifacts 人工制品

words showing cohesion [signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (c&c) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：

though both

indeed

through

than

simply

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